In most cases, there isn’t a medical cause for premature ejaculatory dysfunction in males. Otherwise known as premature ejaculation (PE), this form of erectile dysfunction is officially when a man ejaculates before or within about a minute of penetration.
However, the combination of the female involved being upset with the speed of your performance, along with your own feelings of failure, can lead to many psychological side effects.
Side effects of premature ejaculation
It’s not uncommon for PE to contribute to damaging emotions such as shame and humiliation, distress as well as anxiety and depression. In time, this can mean that the man may even have problems getting or maintaining an erection due to him being overly nervous. If you’re using condoms, it won’t be uncommon for him to lose his erection before he even gets the thing on at this stage.
Panic not. You are understood.
The good news is that with a little understanding, premature ejaculatory dysfunction can be relatively easy to sort out.
In order to do this, we need a little background. Men and women work differently – down there…
Males and females experience sexual pleasure in different ways. Men enjoy sex just as much if it lasts for an hour or a minute, whereas for women, intercourse can get better over a longer period. Beware though men. Women don’t just want you to go longer. They need stimulating with a variety of sensations. This can be a common misunderstanding between the sexes, but is actually really helpful if you’re suffering from premature ejaculatory dysfunction.
If you’re a woman reading this because your partner isn’t satisfying you, it may be that he simply does not understand. If this is the case, then a gentle and encouraging conversation can go a long way to solving your problems. That’s even more likely when you understand how to control your arousal and be able to more closely match it to your partner’s.
Tantra is fabulous at giving you the tools to find that meeting point. For men to slow down and for women to move faster. It’s all about being more sexually intuitive.
The deal with tantra is that it’s all about going slow. Have you heard about people saying they’ve spent hours having tantric sex?
But here’s the biggy.
Tantric sex isn’t about spending hours with a man’s penis inside you. Penetration is part of the whole sensual experience between a couple, but the practice of tantra actually takes practice. And patience.
Couples prolong intercourse for as long as they can, and the orgasm. This builds up a whole load of intense excitement in both your body through genital foreplay and your mind via breath work and meditations which trust us, amount to non-touching foreplay.
This kind of delayed arrival at the end point is great whether you’re a man or a woman suffering with the effects of premature ejaculatory dysfunction.
You learn to hold the need to ejaculate on the brink. When you feel it rising, slow down your speed, pull away if necessary and count to as much as you need to in order to calm down the swell.
Over time, you’ll begin to delay the point at which you ejaculate and over time you’ll begin to wonder whether you ever had issues at all.
It’s all about how you treat premature ejaculation and your ability to not be beaten by it mentally. Because, as we keep saying, good sexual experiences and tantric sensuality is all about the mind. It’s only when you get this engaged that the body follows.
Treatment of premature ejaculation dysfunction.
There is no real medical treatment for premature ejaculation. This is largely because the factors are largely emotional, so medications aren’t effective. If you become depressed, antidepressants will actually dull your libido — not exactly where we’re headed with this.
The best medicine traditionally is talking counselling with a sex therapist rather than popping a drug. This can be speaking with someone, like us, about what you think the emotional causes of your physical issues are.
What will happen?
When you come to us, your session will start with a consultation. You may have already filled us in on text beforehand if talking face to face is difficult for you, but if not, we’ll have a chat to find out what’s going on. This will include you discussing whether you’ve had any recent surgery, when you are finding you’re having issues and what exactly resolving the problem typically means for you.
And then, we can take this further into a sensual massage setting where you will relax whilst your therapist uses an array of different techniques with the purpose of stimulating you, and then stopping before you release. Thus helping you to practice controlling the power of the innate urge.
The benefit of her experience as well as compassion will aid your stimulation, but there is also something to be said for it not mattering whether ‘it’ works with her or not. She is a professional who has no emotional bearing on your life, if you break it down, all you’re doing is running through some simple exercises together, albeit in an incredibly intense and sensual setting.
For sure, she cares about your success, but you’re not letting her down. Her reputation depends on you making progress and she will do everything within her professional powers and training to get you to where you feel you are normal, but she won’t be let down by your difficulties. She is experienced and has worked with many people over her career and she knows that over time, with sufficient caring intimacy, you will improve.
By operating within this caring environment, and being persistent, refusing to be disheartened, you will last longer. Although we won’t deny that practice makes perfect when dealing with sexual dysfunction. But, over time, you’ll develop confidence over the course of your treatments.
You’ll learn fun stuff for home
You’ll also learn masturbation play to use at home so that you can keep your lady happy whilst you’re making your progress. The last thing anyone wants is for frustration to creep into your relationship.
In addition, we’ll also teach you how to help her to better tie her arousal in with your timeline so that you’re better aligned to achieve simultaneous climax. We’re willing to bet that this will be helpful for you as a couple, that you’ll grow closer, as will your desire.
If you have any concerns about your health, you should always seek advice from a doctor or medical practitioner. We are treating your dysfunctions symptoms with your personal program, not providing a diagnosis.