If you’re looking to build a deeper connection within your relationship, then here is the ultimate list of intimate questions to ask your partner. 

Why do I need to ask intimate questions?

Do you remember those first days of love? How much did you talk? And how close and connected did you feel in those moments? 

Building intimacy with a partner within a relationship is often pushed aside as life takes over. We even dare to think that we know everything about the other, when in fact we’re all constantly changing and adapting to our new lives and the world within which we live. 

So, if you want to build a connection, and give it a chance at longevity, then what’s the harm in going back to the techniques that helped you find love in the first place?

I’m in a contract marriage/ arranged marriage. Love was never there.

This doesn’t matter. Because intimacy develops over time. The biggest misconception is that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. For me, it will be the day that I die, with my husband there, holding my hand, knowing that we’ve been through everything together. How we started out won’t matter at that point. By then, it’s all about the depth of emotion and this will help you regardless of whether you started out life within an arranged or contract marriage.

Why is it important to ask my partner intimate questions?

Getting to know your partner’s internal world is everything. This is what makes them tick on the inside. Understanding this will allow you to second guess their emotions, their fears and their loves. All of this makes you a better partner, which makes them love and appreciate you more. And this is how we breed a connected future based on partnership.

Read about Building Intimacy in a Relationship

How do I use these questions?

Think about it this way. No life is perfect. No relationship is how a movie will portray it. And no boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse is without their faults. We’re not talking about reaching the heights of romantic disillusionment here. We’re talking about changing up the dance steps of our daily conversation using these intimate questions to ask your partner as a starting block for a conversation so that couples can learn a little more about their evolving partner and appreciate them more.

So choose your moment to ask your partner these intimate questions. Don’t read through them from top to bottom and present your lover with a list. We prefer to think that they’re here to give you a starting point for the time when you’re stuck in traffic. A topic of new discussion that will drive you closer to your dream of being the ultimate couple.

Finding out more about our lover will change up the comfortable monotony and it doesn’t all have to be about the bedroom just because we’re talking intimacy!

Side note:

Adult pleasure is all about the business of shutting down the brain so we have the emotional space to open up and explore sexually. This is what the tantric experience is all about. It’s about watching a person’s true character float free. And it will only do that when you have a connection and trust.

And listen to their answer. If you ask, ‘if our relationship were a movie which one do you think it would be?’ and you’re presented with ‘Pretty Woman’ that has very different connotations to if you hear, ‘Basic Instinct.’ If you don’t understand the answer, ask. Like we say, these are a starter for ten. The rest is down to you.

  • Which qualities first attracted you to me. From here you can then go on to find out whether these are still important, whether you still possess them and it will give you a clue, without the need to get emotional, about where and if you need to improve areas that you are slacking. Hopefully it will be a fun conversation which will show how you have both changed since that time and how the things that made you happy once have now adapted to your new, conjoined lives as a family, often with kids.
  • If you were to name three memories, which ones were the most cute? Now, cute doesn’t sound helpful. But bear with us. The funny times, the warm times and even that really dirty night times are what bring us closer together. These are the types of shared experiences that build a shared past and mean that when we spend our future together, we’re more aligned. Once you have your answer, go on, get flirty. Use the information to build your future. Because this isn’t just about a dialogue.
  • What do I do that lets you know I love you? Within this question, you’re fishing to find out what makes your partner grateful to be with you. It may be sexual, such as satisfying them in a way that you know works. Or, it could be that you make them their first drink of the morning. Take note. These are the things you can do more of. For sure, you’re not going to make a second drink in the morning, you’re probably out of the door and on with your day by then. But perhaps grabbing a glass of wine out of the fridge on an evening may be a great touch.
  • What are our collective strengths? We’re not looking for how hot you are in this one, but for the real-life examples of how you rate your accomplishments. Pulling together in a way that compliments the other makes you more effective as a team, so thinking about a memory and learning from it, can help build a stronger, more easy future.
  • What is your best adventure? Now, we’re hopeful that this will be one that you took together. But if not, that’s OK. Because it gives you the chance to improve. To plan something of an equally memorable level that you can explore together as a couple. You’ll be surprised at how this can strengthen and support your position. If you’re both enjoying life and your shared experiences, then this can only lead to increased naughty pleasure.
Why did we make that last throw away line?

Here’s the thing. Physical intimacy is connected to the brain. That’s what our tantric training has taught us. This is why we can work with women who are notoriously committed to only have sensual experiences with their partner, and we can give them that sensual curiosity within the space of a few hours. Some people think it’s a huge accomplishment, but once you know how the body works with the mind, you will never underestimate the power of dating on living a sexy life.

So, if you’re looking for a non-confrontational list of Intimate questions to ask your partner then go ahead. Have fun!