If you’re looking to improve body confidence whether this be from fear of rejection, following sexual abuse and it’s impacting your intimate relationships; read on.
Part of connecting with the world and enjoying your life is your relationship with your self. And how much you value yourself. This can be massively impacted by a fear of intimacy which can stem from early trauma.
Allowing deep rooted trauma in your early life to hinder our future relationships is common.But it’s not necessary.
Examples of why we may feel a lack of body confidence leading us to need to improve our opinion of ourselves:
- Sexual trauma
- Mentally abusive relationships with partners or parents
- Bullying from kids at school
- Religious upbringing and beliefs
- Media opinions
In Australia there were more than 950k women who reported they were sexually abused before they reached the age of 15. This research was conducted in 2005 and reported in Quandre in 2008 by the Australian Institute of Family Studies.
This shocking figure on sexual assault could ruin so many lives. If you allow it.
How our tantra, yoni and sensual clients fit into this
For years we’ve been seeing men and women (yep both sexes) who have lived with their often hidden sexual abuse and other issues listed above. This has led to broken marriages as they live with the residue of their past carrying forward into their futures.
We’re not only non-judgemental regarding your past, but we’re used to empathising with it. We can sit down together in a place which is safe and trustworthy. We’ll discuss openly and without shame your needs and how we can bring out your inner confidence. Together we will discover the person you would have been. And still can be.
How does the tantra ethos do this?
Whilst you may have dampened down your sexuality for whatever reason, it is still a powerful life force within us. Think about it. We are put on earth to pro-create. The way we do this is through vibrant sexual activity. The more fun it is, the more we want to do this. So one of our most natural urges is to enjoy sexual interactions and our innate sensuality.
It’s good for your soul.
The essence of connection with other humans and ourselves provides us energy and joy. We understand that sex is a massive part of life, if not the biggest part if we hark back to reproduction. So embracing sensual energy and not shunning it will help you to feel lighter as well as enhancing your desire and passion for life.
We bring a level of relaxed intimacy to your world. We’re gentle and relaxed, and there’s no pressure. When you’re with us you’re living within a bubble of warm safety where your confidence is allowed to flourish.
Afterwards you’ll find you’ll walk taller and with more freedom. Your concerns about what others think will evaporate.
The compulsion to act in a certain way affects in the region of 6% of the world. And that number is only on the rise as the internet eases the access to sexually explicit material. Likewise with sexting. It’s popular nowadays. But is it right for you? And your relationship?
However, this gives us and/ or our partners an unrealistic idea of what is realistic and acceptable within a real, flesh and blood relationship. This can mean that the affected partner has issues with body image. And it isn’t until you set out to improve this that you have the strength to call your partner out.
Here’s another fact. More men are suffering with Erectile Dysfunction. Our opinion on this is that stress has a lot to do with this, and the rise of unavoidable stress is limiting. Put medicines on top of this and the effects are massive.
But, think about how this can lead you to then want to improve your body image. We can help with that by teaching you how to step away from stress and enjoy the pleasures of your body again. This improved body image will make your love life at home much improved.
Other reasons people need to improve body confidence.
If you’ve had an operation such as prostate removal or breast cancer, then this can lead you with a less healthy opinion of how you look than you had before. Also, if you’ve been on medication which has blown up your weight, your body confidence may have taken a hit.
Not only can we discuss your body concerns beforehand so we know what to take into account, we will also adapt your session to encompass this.
For instance, if you have a particular issue with your breasts, we’ll reveal them slowly and only when you feel comfortable. If your prostate is an issue, you may want to add in a prostate massage to reduce toxins or completely avoid this area. The choice is yours.
If you have a secondary body image complex due to an overriding issue such as premature ejaculation, then again, tell us and we’ll work with this. We will use different techniques throughout your sensual massage and your lingam massage in particular. We may discuss some exercises which may help you to control yourself better too. Breathing exercises combine wonderfully with tantric bodywork massage are great for prolonging your response and calming any anxiety.
Speak to us and we can then use our toolkit of skills to help you best achieve results which will improve your overall body confidence.
The biggies with women are varied. Ranging from pregnancy and post baby body changes down to how you feel emotionally. If you’re tired, internally you feel less desirable, even if you look the same on the outside. You may even lose all sexual desire and want to get it back.
If your partner doesn’t understand how to stimulate you again, it can be a barrier between couples. In time this may manifest into anger and resentment. It’s important to recognise and acknowledge these feelings so that you can move forward with a future that makes you both happy. There’s no use in being depressed with your life or angry with your partner forever.
When we bottle up our emotions, longer term research has shown that this leads to serious illnesses. Another reason to take the plunge and move forward in a trusted environment, even though it may often seem radical.
Another time that is tricky in terms of body image is menopause. Not only does your sex drive generally take a hit then, but hormonal changes will often lead to weight gain. This roller-coaster of emotions can lead to a fast onset of a mindset that needs help to improve your body confidence.
Lack of Self Esteem
An ongoing part of modern society is that there is a disconnect between how we feel about our body and internally and how we think we should feel. And look.
The Botox community, the big booty lovers and so on are testament to this obsession. A lack of self esteem quickly manifests into a derogatory sense of overall well-being. Again, this can create illness as well as being destructive to relationships. Men want us to be sexy and confident. When you visit us, you’ll see that we have had no work done. We’re not bad looking, but we are nowhere near perfect, and that’s OK. We make a great living out of working with clients looking for some kind of sensual fulfilment. That doesn’t take an unnatural figure, it takes deep reserves of confidence, compassion and love.
We’re not saying that building your self esteem and by default your body confidence is easy. It can be difficult and often painful. Particularly if you are dealing with eradicating, the scars of past trauma. But it’s so worth it. The results don’t just help you with your confidence in one area; they manifest throughout all aspects of your life. And this is liberating.
Think about it. Life is full of imperfections. How many men have you been with who are perfect? Did it stop you loving them? It’s time to change your mindset.
Mentally Abusive Relationships
We’ve covered a lot of this already in the other topics. The key thing to take away is that you need to know what your partner needs. Listen to what they say. Not what you think they say. Cut the clutter from your brain and tune in. Don’t second guess.
If you’re still not happy that you can provide what they want, because some people do have unrealistic expectations, then have a rethink. Because this is your life as well as theirs. If you need a safe place to talk about this, then we’re here to talk through your concerns and then allow you to discover how you feel about this during your massage.
If you’re looking for help to improve your body confidence, then drop us a text and we’ll be more than happy to help you. Because there is no place for our negative image of ourselves in a world where we are happy.