Sexual frustration isn’t about not getting enough sex. It’s about not getting enough meaningful sexual interaction.
What is sexual frustration?
Have you ever been in a relationship where you’re humping like rabbits. You’re literally at it every ten minutes. But you never feel satiated?
That’s sexual frustration, and it’s likely because there’s some element of that sexual contact missing whether this be hugging and kissing, a general intimacy in your lovemaking or that you’re just not being taken to orgasm. We’ll explore this more below, but this agitation, anger and anxiety that you feel in these situations is the result of sexual frustration.
So see, we can be sexually frustrated even when we’re having sex. It’s just not the right type of sex. And this inability to meet our sexual desires and needs can lead to damaging psychological effects that we’ll go into later on in this article.
Causes of sexual frustration.
Here are a few causes that both women and men experience when the sex they’re getting, either with their partner or someone else, isn’t satisfying them.
One partner has a higher sex drive than the other. Both partners risk frustration in this complex situation because one isn’t satisfied and the other feels used. And both are valid points. Many of our clients visit us for this reason. The cause may be as simple as being after a baby, or it may be age and hormone related, so previous patterns have shifted. Or it could be that you have always been on different levels here where everything else in your relationship is tip top.
You’re not receiving the level of intimacy in a relationship that makes you feel wanted. Many of our clients tell us that they get sex, but it’s a quickie. It’s all there is time for with the kids.
The issue is that it’s a basic human need to feel skin on skin, to be wanted and needed. And we express that during love making not sex.
This can also happen where one person suffers a body image complex and so doesn’t want to expose themselves in the same way they previously were happy to.
A husband or wife may be busy running the family and be distracted from sex. It’s not that they don’t want it, but the idea doesn’t enter their head. They are too busy and then too tired. They don’t notice their sexual frustration, but their partner, who is out doing what they have always done, does.
If one of the people in the relationship is suffering with a sexual dysfunction disorder e.g. erectile dysfunction, this can lead to anger and resentment.
Often on the sides of both parties.
This is a classic way that sexual frustration manifests as lack of sex often spirals into an accepted pattern, as one or both parties don’t want to address the humiliation of the situation repeating.
Lack of desired sexual contact
You may not have the type of sexual contact that you desire. This could be as simple as a prostate massage being the thing that really satisfies you, but your partner doesn’t want to partake. It could be deeper desires and fantasies that you don’t even want to speak about, let alone play out in reality.
Climaxing is an issue
Relationships are tricky things.
And climaxing too quickly or not at all can be a common bone of contention. This can lead to not wanting to have sex with that person, even though you are sexually stimulated. Being taken half way to orgasm then dropped down can be hugely sexually frustrating.
Following on from the above point, long-distance relationships can be a huge issue with sexual frustration. Many of our clients are in this situation. They don’t want to cheat on their partner, but they do need to be satisfied in a way that only another person can do.
Masturbation whilst useful can often lead to more sexual frustration than it solves in the long run as it gets the body read for sex, which doesn’t follow through. This is where tantra and sensual massage can be a huge help because edging is a wonderful way to enjoy sensual stimulation all the way through to fulfilment.
It’s not that easy to do this on your own. We tend to tip ourselves over the orgasm precipice way too fast.
How many stories have you heard of straight guys in prison turning gay? Just think about it.
Here’s another interesting point. Religion. You’d be surprised at how many of our clients come to us because in their religion sex before marriage is forbidden.
But people are human and they need their physical needs met, but their religion and that of their partner prevents it within their societies.
Some philosophers have even studied the link between extremist Muslim violence and suicide bombers dying for honour and their sexual frustration. There is apparently a scientific link between these murderous feelings and radical traits.
Other forms of self deprivation
Likewise, we’ve all heard about athletes not being able to ‘engage’ before a big event — I guess you could argue that sport is a type of religion for some. And people who are gay, but haven’t yet come out for whatever reason, are another example very often of groups of people who don’t engage in fulfilling sexual activity. Whether this is out of choice or not is not important, simply put, you are still suffering from frustration.
A person’s unwillingness to explore their body could also be a reason for this. It might be your partner not ‘letting loose’ in which case it’s difficult to read the signs and bring them to an explosive orgasm in the way that would make you feel good about yourself. If it’s you, then you’re not engaging with your body in the best possible way and therefore you’re unlikely to ever be anything but sexually frustrated. You simply don’t know how to be anything else if you haven’t yet discovered what makes you tingle to your toes.
Let’s change tack for a moment. Have you ever worked with someone who you are sexually attracted to? It can drive you insane, can’t it. You’re not supposed to have that intimate connection with someone you work with, it can literally screw up your career. And so the attraction and the frustration builds. Society expects us to behave within certain limits.
Look at the Romans, they were all banging anything that moved. They didn’t care if you were male or female. Orgies were an acceptable pastime. But today, that’s not acceptable. Why is that? Surely we still have the same urges we always did.
Signs you are sexually frustrated.
If you easily blow up. Your annoyance level is extreme or you are easily distracted, this change in your base level personality could be a sign your sexuality isn’t being met. This is because you don’t have an outlet for the stress of daily life. When we have sex, it releases chemicals which relax us to our bones. Without that daily life continues to top up the pot, but it’s not being emptied and we become hot headed.
If you have problems falling asleep and while you’re in that state you experience that little niggle in your groin… Yep, this is a sign you’re not getting enough of the right sexual interaction to meet your emotional as well as physical needs. On top of this, sleep deprivation then prompts sexual frustration so you’re on a hiding to nothing here. Our advice, if you don’t want to come and see us, then at least exercise. You can do this hard and fast like cardio, or slow like yoga. This will suit your personality just like your sexual preference.
You think about sex all the time. Seriously, it becomes a fantasy land that you escape to. But you’re still not getting any. This could be part of your problem though, we’re not living in the movies and your fantasy is the movie in your head. Don’t mistake reality and the quality of your dreams. If you do you’ll fast become a prisoner of your own frustrations.
Lack of interest
You might not be interested in masturbating anymore. This is because the accumulated levels of stress in your body lead to you not being able to engage with self satisfaction. This is just the same as if you’re stressed from work.
If you aren’t satisfied after sex, even if you do all the right things. It just doesn’t work out. The issue could be either you or your partner. If you think it’s your partner, then you need to speak with them. But, please, be gentle. Continuing to pretend you’re enjoying sex or any kind of sensual stimulation when you aren’t will lead to a lifetime of no change. And that means no satisfaction. And we already know this leads to rage, and even anxiety and depression further down the line.
How to overcome sexual dissatisfaction and associated frustration.
The way to do this depends on the cause. The usual thing we’d always suggest though is talk to your partner about this. If you can’t because the issue is something you don’t want to accept about yourself, then perhaps this is the time that you make a visit to us.
If the problem is because you’ve grown complacent with your partner, or there are body image issues etc, then change it up. Don’t just head to the marriage bed where you’ve had previous failures. It doesn’t set a great tone.
You have the power to book a hotel, change up to the spare room, or even have a date night before you retire to the same place. But whatever you do, if something is going to change, then you have to change something between the pair of you for that to happen.
And don’t focus on intercourse. Focus on the love you share between you. Every therapist will tell you the rest will follow when you are comfortable around each other again.
If you have guilt over something you have done or thought about, then push this to one side. You are with your partner at this point in time. Embrace them and this situation, the past will only ever be that. It can’t be changed.
If sex drive is an issue, then boost it. Play games. Married therapy will always push for new experiences to be the solution. A little like we said about the place earlier, mix up the routine. It could be a fast track solution that will easily influence the success of your future sex life.
To book a sensual massage and relieve your sexual frustration text us today.
Let’s put you in the moment, the moment when you’re experiencing your first exotic massage for men at Sensual massage Romford. So, lie back and relax.
You’ve entered the therapy room and it’s dark. Oddly dark. You have a feeling of unease. You’re looking forward to your exotic massage for men because somewhere deep inside the pit of your gut, you know that this is going to be good.
It’s already so different from the places you’ve been before.
The therapist is nice. And speaks English. Is English.
And you’re at ease.
Or you were. Until you removed your underwear and laid down. The place is totally silent. Except for the sensual music playing in the background. You focus on in on the breathing, the sound of a woman enjoying herself set to the erotic chords of tantric music.
You shout out. Tell your therapist you are ready. You’re totally unclothed. Unsheathed. Open to the world.
When the door opens the sound seems to echo around the intimate space. You don’t look up. You’ve been told not to and your instincts tell you much as you’re desperate to that this will spoil the tension which is already building. And you don’t want to break the spell.
So instead, you wait as you listen to bare feet padding around the room, trying to work out if that’s all that is naked. Other than you.
Your eyes are closed and the rest of your senses are on red alert. So when soft hands touch your back in two places the shock is intense, like two icicles spearing you, whipping away your breath and leaving your heart pumping at double speed.
Your head rushes as you’re instructed to breathe. Part of this exotic massage for men is based on tantra. You’ve heard about it before, thought it was a cheap quicky wrapped up as something delicious. You never even dreamed that so little could be so exquisite.
Imagine lying face down. The soft hands of your sensual massage therapist glide over your skin with a sensuous touch which alights every single one of your nerve endings. Your tired body which only a few moments earlier had been lethargic from the strains of the day is instantly invigorated. A heat from the blood which had been lying dormant floods down from your core trickling to every extremity.And then all the stresses and strains of work and of family, evaporate as you allow yourself to float into the blissful innocence of a simple touch.
Skin on skin.
With only a hint of temptation. The pressure builds. Your breathing deepens as your sensual massage therapist leans over you. You keep your head buried in the massage table, the head cradle hiding how you bite your lip as you sense rather than feel an immaculate touch. The divine intensity of the moment continues to build now obliterating all tasks on your to do list, all ideas of anything real outside of this special moment.
The special services of your massage therapist are simple, and yet so incredibly effective. Who knew that massage therapy would be quite so liberating.You spread your legs a little wider, a silent beckoning of where you’re aching for the soft touch of hands to slip to next. Your breath catches as you wait, holding your breath to see whether your aching will be satiated by the special massage you’re losing yourself to.
Those extra special hands falter, you’re sure there’s a pause. And then, they’re gone. The smooth, agile stokes speeding up as they head away from the area.You shift your position, the pressure now all consuming. The hands. Those hands. They’re there again, specialist massage techniques, tempting and teasing you with possibilities. You release the breath you’ve been holding, allow it to float free from your throat and once again surrender to the subtle power of the liberation of an expert massage delivered by someone so totally in control.
You give up fighting, begging isn’t attractive and you allow yourself instead to be at the mercy of your erotic massage therapist. You fall, fast, allowing all tension to release from your body, from your mind and this is only when you truly understand what beauty there is in the art of sensual touch.
This relaxing experience is a mind blowing wellness technique where stress drains from your system and in so doing allows your brain to work in a manner which is totally inexperienced in many of our stressful lives. Therapeutic touch doesn’t have to be about breaking down tight muscles, it can be done from the inside out.
When you leave, you hold yourself differently. Your vision is still blurry as you leave the darkened room and squint to adjust to the real world again. ‘Was that really only an hour or two?’ you ask yourself as you brush a hand through your wayward hair. You feel like a different person.
You feel like a different person.
And this is surely what special service massage is about. It’s about taking what you came in with and throwing it out, only keeping the good that you’ve buried for fear of losing control in life. But, what’s interesting is that when you surrender to a trained stranger’s touch, your inner self is unlocked and you release the pain and tension of the daily grind.
To book special service massage text 07982 491392 today. For more information on sensual massage services in Romford, Essex, check out this page. To go back to our original question, is special service massage sex? No. It’s better.
Are you interested in personal massage, but not sure who to call and where to go in Essex?
It’s a tricky business finding a personal massage therapist in Essex. Standard joints are listed by Google under the same search terms as those who provide the erotic or sensual massage for which you’re looking. The only way to find out is often just to pick up the phone and make the call.
Massage therapy is a minefield, in Essex and anywhere else. There are people offering sports massage, massage therapists who are only interested in providing clean Essex wellness and then others at the other end of the scale who are more interested in getting you in and out, literally as fast as possible so they can move onto their next client whilst robbing you blind.
Why are you wasting everyone’s time whilst putting yourself in an embarrassing position? Those sites that are listed when you type in the search term, ‘personal massage Essex’ are only listed on Google because they have a ton of information on their website which tells you what they offer and how they offer it. Most will have prices on and so it’s easy for you to find exactly what you’re looking for in what will be less time than it takes someone to answer your call and listen to you as you stammer out your convoluted request about their services.
There’s no need for you to announce that you’re looking for a full body massage and wait for the audible sigh on the other end of the line as you realise you’ve called an Essex wellness centre by mistake. Oh, and our clients have told us that they thought deep tissue massage was an ‘all in’ service. Don’t be mistaken. Deep tissue massage is aggressive muscle work that will leave you limping for all the wrong reasons.
You read the information that the massage parlours have provided. It will take all but a few minutes and then you can drop the therapist a quick text on 07982 491392 and arrange the exact personal massage that you want. But, here’s another tip. Don’t assume that a sensual massage, an exotic massage or even a personal massage will end with sex. Usually it will end with a lingam massage, certainly at our premises as standard, but if ‘all the way’ isn’t listed on the site, then that’s not going to be part of the massage services.
If that’s what you’re looking for though, it might be worth you broadening your horizons because, our clients, who incidentally have been returning to us for the past ten years or so, have told us that the combination of our tantric training, professionalism and honed technique mean the lingam massage at Sensual massage Romford, is better than sex.
Now, there’s a claim!
That’s why our clients aren’t just based in Essex, but they travel from all over the UK — and the world — to see us. We have regular clients who live as far away as Toronto and Hong Kong. Some of our clients who live further afield used to live in the area and still make the effort to visit us when they are back in the area. Others visit for work and make a sensual massage with us in Romford a vital part of their trip.
Now, here’s the deal about your name. If you find the right sensual massage therapist, they’ll be established like we are for years) and they’ll be interested in the longevity of your professional relationship. They’re not about to go giving your name out to people, they won’t divulge your personal details or try and hook up on Facebook and they won’t rush over with a wild wave and broad smile if they see you out and about. Your privacy is as important to us as it is to you.
Many of our clients prefer to give a false name. And that’s fine. We know how private you are and that’s for good reason because not everyone is as scrupulous as we are at Sensual Massage Romford. However, it would be useful if you do give us your full name, if for no other reason that we can then call a doctor who can access your medical records if you fall sick. No-one needs to know why you were having a massage, or indeed that it was a more exotic massage style. But, if you’re sick, it would be good to be able to get you help.
Worried about getting caught
It’s the same with parking locations. Sure, you might want to take care of your privacy by parking in a different area and walking around the corner, but how much time does it take to walk to your massage treatments as opposed to hopping out of the car and diving into the treatment rooms.
Of course, this does depend a lot on how much of a prominent location the personal massage therapy centre is in. But, if it’s tucked away as we are, you might be safer heading directly into the room from your car. If your’e in a quiet location it’s not like anyone will be passing.
The choice is yours.
So, however you decide to look for a sensual massage service, an erotic massage or a personal massage at least now you have a few points to help you decide who can give you the service you’re looking for whilst maintaining your privacy. To book, text 07982 491392 now.
Unsatisfied with sex? Want to reconnect with your partner?
There’s no need in this day and age to live a life where one partner (or both) is unsatisfied with sex.
And yet we hear this all the time.
You’re in a committed relationship with your partner. Whether that be a husband/ wife or recent partner, where literally everything else within your relationship is top notch, your sex life is suffering. And so because we love our partner, and we love everything else about the time we spend together, we put up with a less than acceptable sex life leaving us feeling unsatisfied with sex.
1. Cultures affect sexual behaviour.
This could be because you have different ways of approaching sex, and your sex life naturally, or it could be because some aspects are just off limits in certain cultures.
For instance, oral sex is off limits for African men. Asian women will often consider intimate touch to be taboo for so long until they are married that making the switch once they are in a committed relationship isn’t always as easy as flicking a switch.
2. Age differences and experience levels cause frustrations
If you’re with someone way less experienced than you it may seem like a great idea that you can teach them everything you need them to know about sex. The issue comes in when we quickly realise that sex isn’t a training session. That can be a bit of a passion killer to anyone’s sex lives. A little bit of self discovery is wonderful, but when it’s every time, we understand. It can be tough, and wind up leaving you being sexually unsatisfied.
3. Communication (or lack of) can create a rift the size of the Grand Canyon.
No-one wants to be the one to tell their partner that they’re not doing it right, that their best efforts are leaving us unsatisfied with their sex. We imagine being on the other end of the conversation receiving the message from someone we love that we they are leaving our sexual desire unsatisfied.
Or that we’re having unsatisfying sex with them.
But, the depths of sex and intimacy are by nature incredibly personal and emotional that we need to find a way to link in our sex drive. We can’t expect it to be ok to live dissatisfied with sex for the rest of our lives. Eventually that wedge will grow.
Seeing a sex therapist as a couple isn’t always the way forward, perhaps one won’t go due to shame or being embarrassed, or sadly another doesn’t feel they are living with an issue. And so often times it comes down to you seeing the help and satisfaction outside of the relationship.
And we’re here to tell you that this is fine.
You are allowed to have your personal emotions and as long as you have tried your best and you’re seeking help with the best of relationship intentions then we’re not going to judge you. Sometimes it’s simply impossible for another individual with their own hopes and fears to understand the depths of sex for another.
That doesn’t meant that your emotions are any less valid.And that’s what is great about the sensual massage that we offer in Romford, Essex. We don’t offer you sex. It’s simply not on the cards. Because we are trained and we know that people who are unsatisfied with sex life can often think that sex is the only answer.
A deep sensual satisfaction is.
One where you discover pieces that you never knew about how your body works. One where you fall into the depths of the pleasure you can receive from a simple touch. And one where you can learn and use these skills at home to stimulate your flailing sex life with your partner so that neither one of you need live with an unsatisfying sex life any longer.
So for anyone who feels unsatisfied sexual tension and believes that unsatisfied sexual desire is something they need to live with, we’re here to tell you you’re wrong. Our trained tantra therapists can show you how to use your body and how to enjoy that of your partner. They will reconnect you with emotions you’ve buried, and allow you to discover sensations you’ve never felt. And then you can take this sensuous discovery to add health to relationships that may have been lying stagnant and untouched for years.
You don’t need to live within a relationship with your partner that has dysfunction at its core. Couples can be fully happy again, fulfilled and even study their sex life together in a new direction. Who knows what doors will open when you learn the answers to unlocking your partners inner self.
We don’t believe that a marriage should be stale struggle, that an orgasm should be shameful, off limits or unachievable. And our surprising tantra experts factor this into our sensual massage services leaving you, as a couple refreshed with a renewed and fulfilling interest in your combined sexual relations and inner desires.
Yep, it’s true, we’ve probably all seen the reports that having sex reduces stress. But, what if you’re not getting sex? Or if you are but it’s not satisfying you to the point that your stress levels are reducing? Or what if you have to beg for it and your partner lies there like a dead fish, sucking any and all enjoyment out of the process?
That’s where we step in. But, it’s not with sex. Let’s explain.
Only one third of people in the UK are satisfied with their sex lives. That’s not to say that they’re not enjoying regular sex, or the physical benefits of having sex at all. But, that what they’re having, or the way they’re doing it, or the amount of time isn’t satisfying what they need deep inside their core. At Sensual Massage Tantric Massage Romford, Essex we understand this. But, we don’t provide you an alternative, we don’t give you any act of sex. We actively avoid that. There is enough sex out there for us to not need to offer that. No, we provide you with another sensual layer of intimacy that lies over your sexual yearning like a warm blanket of love.
So sure, intercourse relieves stress. But, our clients tell us this is better. Both at relieving stress, at giving them the best orgams they have ever experienced and at allowing them to go home having learned something about themselves and how incredibly intimate the human touch can be. And they pass this on to their partners. The result? Good sex. With your partner. Improved intimacy. A renewal of the luxurious fun you once enjoyed together.
The benefits of sex
Now, if we’ve not convinced you to give our sensual massage a try with the promise of an improved sex life at home, increasing your probability of sex and reducing stress, how about this;
Sex and sexual release has many more health benefits: You can kiss frequent colds and bugs goodbye as sex may boost your immune system
The probability of having sex also boosts your libido which means if your sex life is on the downward spiral, the best way to improve this is to have sex. Or a sensual experience that reawakens your inner demon.
There are also a host of other benefits, such as improving a woman’s bladder control through orgasming. Yep. Tightening that pelvic floor can be fun!
Plus, we all know that intercourse relieves stress now, but did you know that this is a serious thing. If you relieve stress, you lower your blood pressure. Sex helps to combat your chances of getting cancer. The health benefits go on and on!
So, sex and sensuality is not only a wonderful emotion to languish in, but sex is good for your health. Imagine if you learned enough about sensuality to have sex everyday. You’ll live forever!
We jest, we can’t promise that.
But you get the picture.
Sex makes life better and not just for the hour or so that you’re busy doing the deed. Sex promotes a response in your body that is one of the best ways to reduce stress and therefore the health benefits of sex are vast.
So, you can get on and push at home, or you can come to us and learn about how your own body works. You can take this sensual awakening back into your home and try sex on a subsequent day using all the tricks you’ve learned. You’ll probably feel your heart swell with a newfound love for your partner as they react to your touch in a way you’d forgotten was possible. And even if not, you’ll sleep better as a minimum.
We’re joking again, but that is a true point. Stress keeps us awake. Our clients who come and enjoy a sensual massage report being able to sleep better for up to a week after their appointment further enhancing our claim that having a sensual massage is a great healthy way of living that is not only physically relaxing but also a way to reduce stressful mental thoughts and anxiety, for both men and women.
This has to lift your mood before we start with the spring you get in your step having enjoyed an hour or more of your body speaking to you in ways beyond what you’ve ever known finished off by the best orgasm of your life.
Who is a sensual massage perfect for?
We’ve spoken a lot here about people who are in relationships already and are looking to renew the passion with a view to having sex reduces stress. But that’s only because these are most of our clients. But, boosting orgasms isn’t just the realm of men and women who have a partner. It’s for everyone. If you’re single, you could improve your chances of getting a partner by learning about yourself and therefore improving your skills with a potential new partner.
We will also fill a huge emotional void caused by being single. We’ve talked about how uninspiring sex for the sake of sex can be. You’ll actually get the opposite emotional connection when you have a sensual massage with us.
We don’t work with couples and the reason for this is simple. Everyone is different and we are working specifically with you. We can work on each of you in turn, but never at the same time. The activity of having different people with different agendas is just too distracting and it’s usually the man who comes off worse out of this. We’ve decided therefore that to make sure you receive the best possible experience, we only work with one client at a time.
So for a healthier start to the new year, and for a more sexually awakened future, where you’re enlightened about how having sex reduces stress, give us a text on 07982491392 to book in today.