If you’re looking for tantric therapy London, then Romford is East London. It’s half an hour on the train from London Liverpool Street and easily accessible from the A12 and A13 if you’re driving.
There are plenty of tantra therapists in London. They come and go. Sensual Massage Tantric Massage in Romford, East London has been around for years. Same practitioner. No changes.
So if you’re looking for a genuine tantric massage body practitioner that is easily accessible from London, then you’ve found your place.
Why make the trip for tantric therapy London?
There are plenty of people claiming to be tantra therapists in London. Anyone can learn the moves. They come, and they go. And many have never even done a course, they just claim to have.
Some may be qualified in aromatherapy or work with muscular massage tools. These are not the same as tantra practice. Both work with the body, but we also work with your mind.
There’s no substitute for official tantra training with years of experience layered on top of that.
Plus living a holistic life including regular yoga and massages means that your therapist has the spiritual skills to tune in to your energy.
And anyone who knows about tantra and elevating physical experiences through the mind, understands the benefits of a spiritual love.
What massage do you offer?
We provide sensual massage and tantric massage (massagetantra) to female and male clients. These include a lingam (massagelingam) or yoni massage as standard, so please say if this isn’t what you’re looking for.
In addition, you can add in the sacred intimacy of a prostate massage or rosebud massage too.
Please note: This is sensual healing, a voyage of positive discovery where you experience the erotic sensations of your heart that you’ve never experienced.
Whilst this is a sexual experience, we have boundaries and are not offering sex and there needs to be an understanding and trust between you and your masseuse before your session starts.
What are the health benefits of sensual or tantric massage?
There is a mass of research on the internet that demonstrates the connection between reducing stress and massage.
Taking this more sensual route to massage only heightens that experience. For you to get in touch with the pleasures of your body, your mind needs to switch off. This is how an hour’s intimate appointment with us leaves individuals feeling like they’ve relaxed for an entire afternoon.
And we have the techniques to help you with this. Before we even start any bodywork and massage, we’ll slip your brain into a safe place to relax with some breathwork and meditation. You’ll be surprised at how much support this gives your practices.
Who enjoys tantric therapy London?
This kind of massage therapy is great for a range of clients with differing issues. Whether you’re women or men discovering your hidden sensuality or learning skills to share within your relationship, although we don’t work with couples.
We also have clients who come to discover their sexuality under the calming touch of our hands. They use our knowledge and coaching to get under the skin of what they’ve kept hidden.
People who aren’t satisfied with their partner.
Some use their sessions as workshops where they have discovered their loving spirit.
We have plenty of business people looking for professional relief. To be the less dominant receiver within the crazy walk of external expectations.
Our therapies help people looking for transformation in expressing themselves and to cast aside the shadow of shyness. They become more confident.
If you’re looking to access the cause of dysfunction you’ve been running from and so improve the wellbeing of your family life.
Our rituals unlock the mysteries of elusive authentic happiness. And heal regardless of race or self esteem.
What happens during my session?
I discuss fully a sensual massage on additional pages. This process is a light movement of two naked bodies together. Within the space you have the freedom to explore your body’ in a safe environment.
We launch your experience with the promise of consent. Giving up your power in this way is liberating on a deeper psychological note. This agreement sets the tone of mutual respect.
From here on in, your tantric massage journey starts. By helping you to slip into a deep state of relaxation, the joy of sensual touch at our expert fingers builds. This changing tide of pleasure surges un-announced to create beautiful elite retreat from everyday life. You’re the explorer of your own body.
And then the joyful release at the end.
How can I book an appointment?
Your wonderful journey to understanding touch and the pleasure of your body starts when you first get in contact. You book your sessions and we give you our address. Text us now to book your tantric therapy London. 07982 491392.
In terms of routes, you can get here via a few stops on the tube/ tfl overground rail train or driving. We have free off street parking in the road where you can park.
If you’re looking to improve body confidence whether this be from fear of rejection, following sexual abuse and it’s impacting your intimate relationships; read on.
Part of connecting with the world and enjoying your life is your relationship with your self. And how much you value yourself. This can be massively impacted by a fear of intimacy which can stem from early trauma.
Allowing deep rooted trauma in your early life to hinder our future relationships is common.But it’s not necessary.
Examples of why we may feel a lack of body confidence leading us to need to improve our opinion of ourselves:
Mentally abusive relationships with partners or parents
Bullying from kids at school
Religious upbringing and beliefs
In Australia there were more than 950k women who reported they were sexually abused before they reached the age of 15. This research was conducted in 2005 and reported in Quandre in 2008 by the Australian Institute of Family Studies.
This shocking figure on sexual assault could ruin so many lives. If you allow it.
How our tantra, yoni and sensual clients fit into this
For years we’ve been seeing men and women (yep both sexes) who have lived with their often hidden sexual abuse and other issues listed above. This has led to broken marriages as they live with the residue of their past carrying forward into their futures.
We’re not only non-judgemental regarding your past, but we’re used to empathising with it. We can sit down together in a place which is safe and trustworthy. We’ll discuss openly and without shame your needs and how we can bring out your inner confidence. Together we will discover the person you would have been. And still can be.
How does the tantra ethos do this?
Whilst you may have dampened down your sexuality for whatever reason, it is still a powerful life force within us. Think about it. We are put on earth to pro-create. The way we do this is through vibrant sexual activity. The more fun it is, the more we want to do this. So one of our most natural urges is to enjoy sexual interactions and our innate sensuality.
It’s good for your soul.
The essence of connection with other humans and ourselves provides us energy and joy. We understand that sex is a massive part of life, if not the biggest part if we hark back to reproduction. So embracing sensual energy and not shunning it will help you to feel lighter as well as enhancing your desire and passion for life.
We bring a level of relaxed intimacy to your world. We’re gentle and relaxed, and there’s no pressure. When you’re with us you’re living within a bubble of warm safety where your confidence is allowed to flourish.
Afterwards you’ll find you’ll walk taller and with more freedom. Your concerns about what others think will evaporate.
The compulsion to act in a certain way affects in the region of 6% of the world. And that number is only on the rise as the internet eases the access to sexually explicit material. Likewise with sexting. It’s popular nowadays. But is it right for you? And your relationship?
However, this gives us and/ or our partners an unrealistic idea of what is realistic and acceptable within a real, flesh and blood relationship. This can mean that the affected partner has issues with body image. And it isn’t until you set out to improve this that you have the strength to call your partner out.
Here’s another fact. More men are suffering with Erectile Dysfunction. Our opinion on this is that stress has a lot to do with this, and the rise of unavoidable stress is limiting. Put medicines on top of this and the effects are massive.
But, think about how this can lead you to then want to improve your body image. We can help with that by teaching you how to step away from stress and enjoy the pleasures of your body again. This improved body image will make your love life at home much improved.
Other reasons people need to improve body confidence.
If you’ve had an operation such as prostate removal or breast cancer, then this can lead you with a less healthy opinion of how you look than you had before. Also, if you’ve been on medication which has blown up your weight, your body confidence may have taken a hit.
Not only can we discuss your body concerns beforehand so we know what to take into account, we will also adapt your session to encompass this.
For instance, if you have a particular issue with your breasts, we’ll reveal them slowly and only when you feel comfortable. If your prostate is an issue, you may want to add in a prostate massage to reduce toxins or completely avoid this area. The choice is yours.
If you have a secondary body image complex due to an overriding issue such as premature ejaculation, then again, tell us and we’ll work with this. We will use different techniques throughout your sensual massage and your lingam massage in particular. We may discuss some exercises which may help you to control yourself better too. Breathing exercises combine wonderfully with tantric bodywork massage are great for prolonging your response and calming any anxiety.
Speak to us and we can then use our toolkit of skills to help you best achieve results which will improve your overall body confidence.
The biggies with women are varied. Ranging from pregnancy and post baby body changes down to how you feel emotionally. If you’re tired, internally you feel less desirable, even if you look the same on the outside. You may even lose all sexual desire and want to get it back.
If your partner doesn’t understand how to stimulate you again, it can be a barrier between couples. In time this may manifest into anger and resentment. It’s important to recognise and acknowledge these feelings so that you can move forward with a future that makes you both happy. There’s no use in being depressed with your life or angry with your partner forever.
When we bottle up our emotions, longer term research has shown that this leads to serious illnesses. Another reason to take the plunge and move forward in a trusted environment, even though it may often seem radical.
Another time that is tricky in terms of body image is menopause. Not only does your sex drive generally take a hit then, but hormonal changes will often lead to weight gain. This roller-coaster of emotions can lead to a fast onset of a mindset that needs help to improve your body confidence.
Lack of Self Esteem
An ongoing part of modern society is that there is a disconnect between how we feel about our body and internally and how we think we should feel. And look.
The Botox community, the big booty lovers and so on are testament to this obsession. A lack of self esteem quickly manifests into a derogatory sense of overall well-being. Again, this can create illness as well as being destructive to relationships. Men want us to be sexy and confident. When you visit us, you’ll see that we have had no work done. We’re not bad looking, but we are nowhere near perfect, and that’s OK. We make a great living out of working with clients looking for some kind of sensual fulfilment. That doesn’t take an unnatural figure, it takes deep reserves of confidence, compassion and love.
We’re not saying that building your self esteem and by default your body confidence is easy. It can be difficult and often painful. Particularly if you are dealing with eradicating, the scars of past trauma. But it’s so worth it. The results don’t just help you with your confidence in one area; they manifest throughout all aspects of your life. And this is liberating.
Think about it. Life is full of imperfections. How many men have you been with who are perfect? Did it stop you loving them? It’s time to change your mindset.
Mentally Abusive Relationships
We’ve covered a lot of this already in the other topics. The key thing to take away is that you need to know what your partner needs. Listen to what they say. Not what you think they say. Cut the clutter from your brain and tune in. Don’t second guess.
If you’re still not happy that you can provide what they want, because some people do have unrealistic expectations, then have a rethink. Because this is your life as well as theirs. If you need a safe place to talk about this, then we’re here to talk through your concerns and then allow you to discover how you feel about this during your massage.
If you’re looking for help to improve your body confidence, then drop us a text and we’ll be more than happy to help you. Because there is no place for our negative image of ourselves in a world where we are happy.
The term erotic hypnosis has been floating around for a while, but there has been a recent growth in chatter. When you look on the internet there is a lot of trash talk about it. If you want to see some of that, just look at Pornhub. That is NOT what we’re talking about.
Here’s the truth.
The definition of erotic hypnosis.
By creating a state of heightened awareness, we build a state of mind that is more able to receive a suggestion. For instance, if you have an active imagination, then during the process of erotic hypnosis we’re stimulating that even further. If you normally are not so creative of mind, we awake that side of you.
During the process you build a detachment from your physical self which may sound odd as the whole point for many clients is to have greater, more intense orgasms. But this detachment brings about access to your psycho-spiritual self, which in turn gives you a greater sensitivity to sound and touch.
This is what allows you to reach a heightened state of sexual symbiosis.
What is hypnosis?
This is the state of heightened awareness. Some people train in it. To be clear, we haven’t, we’re tantra experts who use the mind to bring you to the same state of being able to access different ways of thinking and use of your imagination.
You don’t need to worry about this; we are experienced and trained, and the title is just that. At its core, hypnosis is self managed. You allow yourself to be a willing participant, similar to meditation and mindfulness.
This is how over time clients learn to put themselves in this state of mind whilst being totally alone and experience deeper orgasms through the suggestions they allow their mind to create.
What is hypnotherapy?
This is the process of using the hypnotic state of your mind for whatever therapy you choose, This could be more intensive orgasm or for a male, enhancement of your penis, whether this be in the time it takes to ejaculate or strengthening the hardness of your penis without pills. It could even help anxiety surrounding a sexual encounter. These are just examples, the list is endless.
History of hypnosis.
Hypnosis has been around for years, thousands in fact. Its roots are traced all the way to the ancient Hindus and Greeks. This is why erotic hypnosis has great roots with tantra.
Is erotic hypnosis real?
For sure. And it has been around for years, even though the term has only recently gained public awareness. We use this to develop the trance like state that we go into during an elevated tantra experience. Before being known as erotic hypnosis, the same thing was often referred to as ‘recreational hypnosis’ or ‘hypnotic fantasy,’
How does it work?
Generally one person will adapt the position of authority or power during the process. In terms of tantra, this will always be your tantric therapist. And then you’ll relax, breathe and life away from your body and into the pleasures of your erotic mind.
Will I fall asleep, it’s meant to be erotic?
No. You will be anything but asleep. You will feel deeply relaxed with a heightened state of internal consciousness. The outside world will be irrelevant for this period, as your subconscious is more open to the power of suggestion.
Instead of falling asleep, you’ll use visualisation in a similar way to if you’re working with guided meditation to stimulate thoughts in your brain and achieve this deep state of arousal.
What happens during the session?
As with a tantric massage, these sessions start with deep breathing. You can choose to keep your eyes open or closed. Whichever you decide, this process helps to calm your mind and set the scene for more specific mental role playing.
Your therapist will be dominant and you will comply with the fantasy role you have been given. This could extend to BDSM, multiple partners, sex outside of your marriage/ relationship or any other topic of your choosing. If you’d prefer to leave this blank, then that’s fine too. The topic if you choose one is entirely your fantasy. As trust builds over time and your therapist takes on more of a friend role, you may extend the scenarios.
Isn’t this mind control?
Nope. It is not. Your therapist will be taking the role of dominant, but they will not be controlling you and when you finish your session, your life will go back to normal. With the exception that you may be more sexually and sensually aware.
Your tantra therapist will provide stimulus through erotic suggestions and you will take these to your mind and allow your body, in its relaxed state, to focus and run with these.
Whilst you have given your consent at the beginning during the consultation process, you will be able to speak and act on your own will at any time during the process. It is a common misconception that you are entirely a tool for your therapist’s intimate and psychological games during the practice.
That said, you do need to be open to receiving a new experience, otherwise you won’t experience the benefits. If you don’t trust then your mind won’t switch to the state of hypnosis and your tantric therapist’s words will be just a voice that you listen to.
Am I allowed to touch my therapist during erotic hypnosis?
No. That is the opposite of the point. You’re not even going to touch yourself, if you have an orgasm it will be a hands-free orgasm. The only contact with your therapist will be their words and the emotional connection which transports you to your most private world.
Will this help my relationship issues?
It depends why you have them. If it is from lack of control or sexual matching, then it could do because erotic hypnosis works with an individual so they eventually can easily access different levels of intimacy.
But, if your issues are due to some external factor, then it’s unlikely that erotic hypnosis will answer those forms of pain.
Who is erotic hypnosis good for?
Anyone who is struggling to enjoy pleasure from their current sexual relationship but does not want to cheat. on your partner. You don’t even have to be undressed during this activity. The choice is yours. Your therapist will be clothed.
If you want to participate in an alternative type of sensual exposure, then this is a risk free way of doing so. You may also surprise yourself at the sexual fantasies that you held so deep within yourself that you didn’t know they existed.
This is an hour’s session and it costs £120 for the hour. Text us now to book.
Consider this a form of sexual entertainment if you don’t have any sexual issues. There are no risks. You’re just having fun in a safe environment. There’s no age limit, no issue if you’re a female or male, erotic hypnosis can help everyone. As long as you’re willing.
In most cases, there isn’t a medical cause for premature ejaculatory dysfunction in males. Otherwise known as premature ejaculation (PE), this form of erectile dysfunction is officially when a man ejaculates before or within about a minute of penetration.
However, the combination of the female involved being upset with the speed of your performance, along with your own feelings of failure, can lead to many psychological side effects.
Side effects of premature ejaculation
It’s not uncommon for PE to contribute to damaging emotions such as shame and humiliation, distress as well as anxiety and depression. In time, this can mean that the man may even have problems getting or maintaining an erection due to him being overly nervous. If you’re using condoms, it won’t be uncommon for him to lose his erection before he even gets the thing on at this stage.
Panic not. You are understood.
The good news is that with a little understanding, premature ejaculatory dysfunction can be relatively easy to sort out.
In order to do this, we need a little background. Men and women work differently – down there…
Males and females experience sexual pleasure in different ways. Men enjoy sex just as much if it lasts for an hour or a minute, whereas for women, intercourse can get better over a longer period. Beware though men. Women don’t just want you to go longer. They need stimulating with a variety of sensations. This can be a common misunderstanding between the sexes, but is actually really helpful if you’re suffering from premature ejaculatory dysfunction.
If you’re a woman reading this because your partner isn’t satisfying you, it may be that he simply does not understand. If this is the case, then a gentle and encouraging conversation can go a long way to solving your problems. That’s even more likely when you understand how to control your arousal and be able to more closely match it to your partner’s.
Tantra is fabulous at giving you the tools to find that meeting point. For men to slow down and for women to move faster. It’s all about being more sexually intuitive.
The deal with tantra is that it’s all about going slow. Have you heard about people saying they’ve spent hours having tantric sex?
But here’s the biggy.
Tantric sex isn’t about spending hours with a man’s penis inside you. Penetration is part of the whole sensual experience between a couple, but the practice of tantra actually takes practice. And patience.
Couples prolong intercourse for as long as they can, and the orgasm. This builds up a whole load of intense excitement in both your body through genital foreplay and your mind via breath work and meditations which trust us, amount to non-touching foreplay.
This kind of delayed arrival at the end point is great whether you’re a man or a woman suffering with the effects of premature ejaculatory dysfunction.
You learn to hold the need to ejaculate on the brink. When you feel it rising, slow down your speed, pull away if necessary and count to as much as you need to in order to calm down the swell.
Over time, you’ll begin to delay the point at which you ejaculate and over time you’ll begin to wonder whether you ever had issues at all.
It’s all about how you treat premature ejaculation and your ability to not be beaten by it mentally. Because, as we keep saying, good sexual experiences and tantric sensuality is all about the mind. It’s only when you get this engaged that the body follows.
Treatment of premature ejaculation dysfunction.
There is no real medical treatment for premature ejaculation. This is largely because the factors are largely emotional, so medications aren’t effective. If you become depressed, antidepressants will actually dull your libido — not exactly where we’re headed with this.
The best medicine traditionally is talking counselling with a sex therapist rather than popping a drug. This can be speaking with someone, like us, about what you think the emotional causes of your physical issues are.
What will happen?
When you come to us, your session will start with a consultation. You may have already filled us in on text beforehand if talking face to face is difficult for you, but if not, we’ll have a chat to find out what’s going on. This will include you discussing whether you’ve had any recent surgery, when you are finding you’re having issues and what exactly resolving the problem typically means for you.
And then, we can take this further into a sensual massage setting where you will relax whilst your therapist uses an array of different techniques with the purpose of stimulating you, and then stopping before you release. Thus helping you to practice controlling the power of the innate urge.
The benefit of her experience as well as compassion will aid your stimulation, but there is also something to be said for it not mattering whether ‘it’ works with her or not. She is a professional who has no emotional bearing on your life, if you break it down, all you’re doing is running through some simple exercises together, albeit in an incredibly intense and sensual setting.
For sure, she cares about your success, but you’re not letting her down. Her reputation depends on you making progress and she will do everything within her professional powers and training to get you to where you feel you are normal, but she won’t be let down by your difficulties. She is experienced and has worked with many people over her career and she knows that over time, with sufficient caring intimacy, you will improve.
By operating within this caring environment, and being persistent, refusing to be disheartened, you will last longer. Although we won’t deny that practice makes perfect when dealing with sexual dysfunction. But, over time, you’ll develop confidence over the course of your treatments.
In addition, we’ll also teach you how to help her to better tie her arousal in with your timeline so that you’re better aligned to achieve simultaneous climax. We’re willing to bet that this will be helpful for you as a couple, that you’ll grow closer, as will your desire.
If you have any concerns about your health, you should always seek advice from a doctor or medical practitioner. We are treating your dysfunctions symptoms with your personal program, not providing a diagnosis.
If you’re looking to build a deeper connection within your relationship, then here is the ultimate list of intimate questions to ask your partner.
Why do I need to ask intimate questions?
Do you remember those first days of love? How much did you talk? And how close and connected did you feel in those moments?
Building intimacy with a partner within a relationship is often pushed aside as life takes over. We even dare to think that we know everything about the other, when in fact we’re all constantly changing and adapting to our new lives and the world within which we live.
So, if you want to build a connection, and give it a chance at longevity, then what’s the harm in going back to the techniques that helped you find love in the first place?
I’m in a contract marriage/ arranged marriage. Love was never there.
This doesn’t matter. Because intimacy develops over time. The biggest misconception is that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. For me, it will be the day that I die, with my husband there, holding my hand, knowing that we’ve been through everything together. How we started out won’t matter at that point. By then, it’s all about the depth of emotion and this will help you regardless of whether you started out life within an arranged or contract marriage.
Why is it important to ask my partner intimate questions?
Getting to know your partner’s internal world is everything. This is what makes them tick on the inside. Understanding this will allow you to second guess their emotions, their fears and their loves. All of this makes you a better partner, which makes them love and appreciate you more. And this is how we breed a connected future based on partnership.
Think about it this way. No life is perfect. No relationship is how a movie will portray it. And no boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse is without their faults. We’re not talking about reaching the heights of romantic disillusionment here. We’re talking about changing up the dance steps of our daily conversation using these intimate questions to ask your partner as a starting block for a conversation so that couples can learn a little more about their evolving partner and appreciate them more.
So choose your moment to ask your partner these intimate questions. Don’t read through them from top to bottom and present your lover with a list. We prefer to think that they’re here to give you a starting point for the time when you’re stuck in traffic. A topic of new discussion that will drive you closer to your dream of being the ultimate couple.
Finding out more about our lover will change up the comfortable monotony and it doesn’t all have to be about the bedroom just because we’re talking intimacy!
Adult pleasure is all about the business of shutting down the brain so we have the emotional space to open up and explore sexually. This is what the tantric experience is all about. It’s about watching a person’s true character float free. And it will only do that when you have a connection and trust.
And listen to their answer. If you ask, ‘if our relationship were a movie which one do you think it would be?’ and you’re presented with ‘Pretty Woman’ that has very different connotations to if you hear, ‘Basic Instinct.’ If you don’t understand the answer, ask. Like we say, these are a starter for ten. The rest is down to you.
Which qualities first attracted you to me. From here you can then go on to find out whether these are still important, whether you still possess them and it will give you a clue, without the need to get emotional, about where and if you need to improve areas that you are slacking. Hopefully it will be a fun conversation which will show how you have both changed since that time and how the things that made you happy once have now adapted to your new, conjoined lives as a family, often with kids.
If you were to name three memories, which ones were the most cute? Now, cute doesn’t sound helpful. But bear with us. The funny times, the warm times and even that really dirty night times are what bring us closer together. These are the types of shared experiences that build a shared past and mean that when we spend our future together, we’re more aligned. Once you have your answer, go on, get flirty. Use the information to build your future. Because this isn’t just about a dialogue.
What do I do that lets you know I love you? Within this question, you’re fishing to find out what makes your partner grateful to be with you. It may be sexual, such as satisfying them in a way that you know works. Or, it could be that you make them their first drink of the morning. Take note. These are the things you can do more of. For sure, you’re not going to make a second drink in the morning, you’re probably out of the door and on with your day by then. But perhaps grabbing a glass of wine out of the fridge on an evening may be a great touch.
What are our collective strengths? We’re not looking for how hot you are in this one, but for the real-life examples of how you rate your accomplishments. Pulling together in a way that compliments the other makes you more effective as a team, so thinking about a memory and learning from it, can help build a stronger, more easy future.
What is your best adventure? Now, we’re hopeful that this will be one that you took together. But if not, that’s OK. Because it gives you the chance to improve. To plan something of an equally memorable level that you can explore together as a couple. You’ll be surprised at how this can strengthen and support your position. If you’re both enjoying life and your shared experiences, then this can only lead to increased naughty pleasure.
Why did we make that last throw away line?
Here’s the thing. Physical intimacy is connected to the brain. That’s what our tantric training has taught us. This is why we can work with women who are notoriously committed to only have sensual experiences with their partner, and we can give them that sensual curiosity within the space of a few hours. Some people think it’s a huge accomplishment, but once you know how the body works with the mind, you will never underestimate the power of dating on living a sexy life.
So, if you’re looking for a non-confrontational list of Intimate questions to ask your partner then go ahead. Have fun!
It can be touch when you’re struggling with building intimacy in a relationship. This can happen when you first start out together, or when you’re trying to get back from a situation which has hurt one or both of you and you need to find your way back to your partner.
Sometimes the sex can suffer when we’re struggling with intimacy issues, but other times, and often more hurtful, this can be a time where it’s difficult for a partner to feel the love of their other half.
That feeling of being close and emotionally connected or supported isn’t there. The connection you are striving for is distant and so the process of being sexual or even any kind of physical contact with the other person can feel like it is a whole life away.
When you’re going through this, it’s not easy to understand that all relationships go through this. But exercise trust. Because we’ve got you with some hints and tips that will help you talk. Through showing your vulnerable side, you become a team again.
Developing intimacy in relationship.
First off, let’s discuss this, because intimacy in relationships can be significantly more than between a loving couple. Children are intimate with their parents, we’re all intimate in a different form with our friends. Being intimate with other people is one of the most natural states we crave as humans.
If you want to read more about this, then we have a great article, The Definition of Intimacy. Because today we are talking about building intimacy within a romantic relationship.
Intimacy and sex.
We can all have sex with anyone, physically, if we are able to make love with our partner, then our body is all geared up for those actions with anyone. However, how many times have you heard, ‘it’s not the same without the emotion?’
Sure, you might get the release, but it’s not making love. Because the bond that you’ve built through intimacy is missing. This leads to a sense of loss. Like the experience wasn’t all that it could have been. And this can lead to some people feeling lonely, even isolated, regardless of how often they are having sexual intercourse. Because the love and affection is missing.
Difficulties couples face when trying to create intimacy.
There are some common reasons why some couples struggle with sharing that closeness, that signifies intimacy.
Communication issues. If you are your partner aren’t speaking openly and fully, then there is nothing to lay the hat of intimacy on. And this requires you both to participate. You both need to be honest about how you are feeling, what is missing and what you need. A word of caution here. This doesn’t mean you can be callous. Always watch how you express your feelings if you want to grow closer.
Conflict. If you have an ongoing conflict, for instance, one partner had an affair, then this will make intimacy an issue. Approach this with an open mind and know that anger, hurt and resentment can all bustle up into a difficult verbal relationship. The lack of trust will manifest into aggression or retreat rather than open communication. This takes time.
It may not be easy to just talk, and for worries to be resolved. For instance, if you have money worries, they don’t just go away because you talk about them. But finding a way to work together so you both appreciate the other is vital here.
Abuse or violence, either ongoing or in a past life can cause issues in building intimacy in a relationship. These personal problems are deep rooted and you need to check in regularly with your partner and be that constant in their life that they need for support.
Intimacy builds over time. Building intimacy between a newly married couple or in an arranged marriage or contract marriage can require some common ground. Very often in these situations you don’t have as much history of being comfortable with each other. Likewise, if you’re pregnant before you’ve had time to properly plan kids. The spontaneity can be tricky. But don’t worry we have some simple exercises for you to focus on that with a little effort will help to build that intimacy, even if you are involved in a contract marriage or arranged marriage.
What’s our advice to help you connect with your partner?
Celebrate all that is good about your relationship. Use words as well as actions to tell your partner that you appreciate them. And that you love them. One trick that I love is just before you settle down to sleep at night, think of just one thing that the person did for you that day that you appreciated. And thank them. You’ll be surprised at the results.
We’ve covered this earlier, but just in case you skipped ahead, this is worth reiterating. Talk. Openly. And listen. Make time for each other. It doesn’t have to be hours, just a few minutes where you don’t have anything else going on can be a tremendous help in building intimacy in a relationship. You only need a moment sometimes, Just enough to say, ‘I love the way you cook, your food is so flavoursome.’ It may sound like nothing, but enough of these moments count.
On that note, though, you won’t get intimacy if you don’t create the moments. So do it. Be together as a couple. Even if that is going for a walk and holding hands in the rain. Stopping the extraneous distractions really does help communication. So, anything that involves being calm together without distraction is a safe way to spend time together and build togetherness.
We touched on it briefly above, but touching is massive. After all, this is the end game of building intimacy in a relationship, right? Sure it is. So touch when you can. You don’t have to be the grabby perv that makes everyone’s skin crawl, just brush your hand over hers, or sweep some hair from her face. It’s the little things that count. Because as we’ve already said, intimacy takes time.
Here’s another we’ve already touched on (get it?). Accept that all relationships have their ups and downs. And you don’t always know when they’re coming. So embrace that and run with it without fear. Take these points and build them into your lifestyle to help you recover faster.