I hate my sexless marriage

I hate my sexless marriage

Our clients love their partners, in fact they love everything about their lives. Except the one thing. They’re complaining, ‘I hate my sexless marriage.’

Sex within a relationship is important. It’s the one thing that defines this person as a partner as opposed to being a good friend. The intimacy that we share during sex is incomparable to anything we can ever experience with someone who we are close with on a platonic level.

So, why does one partner often shy away from that intimacy over time, whilst another’s sex drive continues?
It can be for any number of reasons. For sure, hormones and stress can play a huge role. When women hit a certain age, their hormones change and that drive literally disappears, because the hormones aren’t there to create it anymore.

Likewise, stress changes a person’s sexual urges. When people are busy in their lives, through children or work for instance, then that life takes all the available energy that we used to put into feeling sexy around our loved ones. There is simply nothing left in our depleted energy resources to desire our partner. And so a couples sex life understandably dies.

But when the other partner is under different strains, or their hormone balance is working out differently, then this is what leads them to complain, I hate my sexless marriage. They may even hate it more because pretty much all the rest of the times they love everything about their life. Including their husband or wife. They certainly don’t want to do anything to mess that up.

And so they feel trapped.

Here’s some tales from our clients:

I’ve been happily married for over 40 years (substitute any amount of time in here, we’ve heard this repeatedly). But I barely remember what a sex life was. We used to be at it all over the place, all of the time when we first met but as life moved on her sex drive as diminished and I’m left wanting.

My sex drive is higher than hers, which means that I live most of the time with my sexual needs being unmet. I find myself becoming agitated and short tempered, frustrated if you like. And then I’m flirting around other women, I don’t want to, it’s just something that I find myself doing.

I’d love to discuss this with her, but she just shuts me down. If we do manage to have a sensible conversation, nothing ever changes after our talk. I understand that this is because this aspect of our life is on different paths, but I’m tempted to have an affair even though the idea of being committed to someone else doesn’t float my boat as I love my wife. I don’t want to see a prostitute and I don’t want to cheat behind her back, but telling her this feels like blackmail.

I’ve even thought about splitting up so that I don’t have to live the rest of my life in a sexless marriage. But, is divorce the answer?

We didn’t have sex before we married for religious reasons and now we’ve finally got down to the act, the situation is not good. My wife has always been brought up that sex is bad and now we’re getting down to it, she has an emotional hang up which causes her to clam up at the vital point.

We can’t get past it. I don’t know what to do. Counselling with a therapist hasn’t helped her and I’m resigned to living within a sexless marriage. But i hate the thought of that. I need to be fulfilled.

My husband would be upset if he knew that he just can’t seem to make me orgasm. I know from past experience that this is possible, but he just can’t do the right things.

Our relationship has always been great. But when my wife got sick, so did the health of our physical connection. It’s not something that I feel comfortable having a communication with her about because it’s not her fault that her libido is down. It feels selfish of me to even complain when I think about what she’s going through. But, I still have needs.

It’s the weight. It drives me insane. She fears how I look at her after her weight gain, but I don’t care. I’m sick of being rejected by her, to me she looks wonderful, but she doesn’t believe me. It’s draining. And frustrating.

When we enter into marriages, we promise to forsake all others. But the resentment that brings about when our partner doesn’t give us the credit for the commitment that brings about can hurt. The bedroom is a big part of our life as a couple and even though logically we know in our head that our spouse’s sexlessness is nothing personal, it’s natural to crave our body touching, for passion to create a lightness in our world unlike the feelings generated by any other activity and for romantic fears the then creep in.

Here’s how to get the power back.
We understand all of the above comments from our clients, your issues although personal to you are also common.

Bear in mind that these are just a handful of what we hear on a daily basis. The story is always the same, this is a difficult topic to communicate about with someone you love, because you love them. The very thing that makes them your go-to person for talking, is the one thing that in this instance, stops you from what you’d normally do. Because you don’t want to hurt them. That’s not your intention, you’re just looking to feel good about yourself and have your natural needs met.

Naked woman lying on front while man gives tantra massage 

The need for intimacy is one of the most natural instincts in the world
And your frustration and ultimately anger are all normal based on these unresolved feelings alongside the sense that you are trapped with no alternative to the life you are living.

Here’s the solution.
That’s why our clients come to us in Romford for a sensual massage, or a tantric massage. The effects of these last them for weeks, often a month and physically reduce the coil that bruises their love. We’re open night and day, so whenever you can grab an hour or so, you can book a last minute appointment and book right on in. It’s really not that difficult.

Plus, we’re not going to offer you sex. Not at all. Sexual intimacy is for couples. We will offer you a sensuality unlike anything else that you have ever experienced. The sensations you feel will be strong enough to fulfill you for weeks. This is how we help people, like you, suffering from lack of libido and certainly complaining, ‘I hate my sexless marriage’ without you ever needing to cheat.


Text us to book in now so you no longer have to silently scream, ‘I hate my sexless marriage.’

Sensual massage music Spotify

Sensual massage music Spotify

If you’re looking for sensual massage music on Spotify then you’re in a great place, because as sensual massage experts we know the importance of setting the mood. Everything from mood lighting to the low music you listen to in the background all combine to enhance the sensuality of the experience.

That’s why we’ve personalised a playlist that will help you personalise the massage you give to your loved one and drive, the best, most intimate moments in time. Oh and by the way. This works great whether you’re a couple or just meeting someone for the first time. Just be sure if this is a stranger, that you perhaps knock back some of the middle songs until later on in the massage experience, they’re definitely not the kind of songs you’d hear in a spa.

Here’s our playlist.

Breathing Synchronisation Tantric Music Masters — This first one does what it says on the tin. When we conjoin our breathing at the beginning, then this is the perfect accompaniment as it helps to mask any self-consciousness

Energy Merging — Love Romance Music Zone — Exactly as it says, your breathing is aligned and your energy is interlinking. A beautiful spiritual moment.

Fertility Energy Tantric Music Masters — The beat in this song is at the exact right tempo to engage with your heartbeat and encourage stimulation

Male therapist giving female sensual massage yoni tantric
Make your massage an erotic massage with the right sensual music from Spotify

Night With Goddess –Tantric Massage — The heartbeat speeds for this track.

Healing Beats Tantra Yoga Masters — The way the music eases in and out of this is reminiscent of heavy breathing. This helps to reduce any embarrassment either one of you may have about letting go.

Erotic Senses Tantric Massage — Again another track which guides your partner into the confidence of letting go.

Sounds of Pleasure Tantric Massage — Pleasure grows more overt now.

Night Tantra Tantra Yoga Masters— Whilst we don’t recommend bird music generally for encouraging stimulation, this one is a great choice for when the tension is building as it represents the static in your brain as energy whooshes around and you start to lose control.

Men Tantra Tantra Yoga Masters— Also the right choice for when that hot tension is building.

Just Believe Tantra Yoga Masters– Perfect for when you’re coming back down again, during the process of edging.

Slow Love on Beach Tantric Music – Just a moment of calm where the waves represent the swooshing of your hormones.

Own Thoughts Tantra Yoga Masters — When we’re building back to another crescendo this is a wonderful choice.

Natural Aphrodisiac Tantric Massage — When you’re done and both of you are soooo relaxed and on that endorphin high.

Couple Meditation — Love Romance Music Zone — Drifting off to sleep holding each other close as you float away in each other’s arms.

We could go on forever, particularly as this will probably be more than a snatched moment alone. So, below are some tips on how to make sure you expand your list on Spotify to meet your personal requirements.

Naked woman lying on front while man gives tantra massage
Find your own music, find your own style. But don’t lose the heat.

Finding your own music.

If you’re looking for beautiful hot tantra music that will get your partner hot then don’t just plump for new age wellness bird songs and waterfalls. There are a ton of generic relaxing playlists out there that wrap themselves up as being sensual, when in truth they’re no more sexy or erotic than a day out in nature.

You are looking for something with an undercurrent. A beat that will tune in with your heart and music made from erotic undertones rather than light flutes that reduce stress.

For sure, the whole point of tantra and sensual massage is that we reduce stress so you and your partner can get in touch with your inner sensuality, but there are ways to do this. And music that concentrates on those pure points to relax will induce calming moments rather than the intensity of sweaty skin on skin.

To make this Spotify playlist yourself, all you need to do is open up the Spotify app and find the songs. Then follow our guide on how to choose appropriately sexy tracks for the purity of each moment and then you can relax in the knowledge that when the time is right, you have everything you need.

Do I need to know anything about tantric massage to be able to give a great sensual massage to my partner?

It helps for sure. If you can personalise the experience you give someone with expert knowledge then all the better. But if you don’t then we’ve written this blog full of tips and advice for the specific purposes of helping you wherever you are in the tantric journey.

I’d prefer to experience a professional sensual or tantric massage services beforehand. Is this OK?

Yes, just book in by texting us on 07982 491392 and we’ll get you booked in. That way when you give the sensual massage to your partners you have experienced it yourself, you have a benchmark for your own measurement which gives you confidence.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to tell the difference between these hot tantric tunes and spa sounds

Oh, you will. Once you’ve listened to a few of the hot tracks, you’ll hear how they help partners to open up and their beat mimics the beautiful junctures of your sexy massage. You’ll hear that even in the calm moments, even though there is a relaxing undertone, this also combines with some kind of a reference to the sounds of our body’s. Listen closely and you’ll soon be able to spot the lilt of pure new age music which is only focussed on nature and calming.

But, like we said earlier, don’t be fooled by the title of the album or track in the app. Nor by the cover. Listen to the sounds that run through and if you have the right tracks, you’ll hear a rise of a waterfall that subsides like the rush of an orgasm. Or the calming wash of a wave will suddenly crash. White noise will distort everything else that plays behind it. That’s the type of sound you’re listening for,

These may not on the surface sound like sexy sounds, but when you tie them into the rise and fall of a great sensual massage, and the way your body and heart will race and then relax, you’re onto a winner.

How can I make my massage erotic, rather than just a boring old massage.

In this blog we’re talking about music and specifically tuning into Spotify so you have the music ready and you can just press play. But, first off, think about what would need to be in place to make this a calming moment for you. Get that right and you’re half way there. We’ll cover off some more tips to avoid producing a moment which is a simple stress buster and will help make sure that you turn this into one of those beautiful intimate moments where you’ll relax, but also engage.

Do your research, listen to the music ahead of time, save it into the Spotify app and then find the right moment when you’re both relaxing and gradually build up the heat together.

Blog — All things sensual


All things sensual

From the tantric experts
in Romford, Essex
text 07982 491392

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Sexological Bodywork

Sexological Bodywork

Man and woman touching hands in sensual way before sexology bodywork begins
Sexological bodywork awakens sexual and erotic aspects of ourselves

Sexological bodywork is a pretty new term which describes the work that we do to improve the connection you have between your body and your mind.

It often confuses people when we talk like this, but here’s the thing. There is only one of you, one entity. And so, the idea that our mind and body should be aligned is actually not so unusual.

Sexological bodywork allows the sexual and erotic aspects of ourselves to awaken. Once they do this, they deepen. It’s all about shutting off your mind from the outside world and allowing your brain to connect with what is going on inside. This is where the tantra massage, or sensual massage comes in.

Why would you see a Sexological Bodyworker?

There’s a bunch of reasons, why men and women want to see a sexological bodyworker, but here are some of the most common:

  • If you’re unable to orgasm, it can help. It’s also great for premature ejaculation and difficulties getting or maintaining an erection
  • Perhaps you have anxiety or a trauma associated with sexual intimacy. Or have you lost your loved one and are struggling to move forward?
  • If you’re bored with your current sex life and need to feel that spark again.
  • Are you stuck in a pattern that is comfortable and do you want a new sexual experience, but you don’t want to cheat.
  • Your libido has changed and you want to fire it back up
  • A lot of people just want to learn how to experience more pleasure in their sexual and sensual lives. They may feel disconnected from their genitals and be looking to connect with touch again.
  • The above point can apply to women who have undergone a change, e.g. childbirth or eating disorder.
  • It’s not always easy to ask our loved one to adapt their natural style to please us. Perhaps you don’t actually know what to ask for.
  • One of the most basic human needs is to be touched. It’s not too much to ask.
  • Most people think they know how to masturbate, but do you really?
  • You just want to learn, and to have better sex. That’s fine too.

Does this mean we have sex?

No. Not on any level. Instead this is about teaching you to understand your body, to connect with it. And as a result to feel and experience the pleasures that may be passing you by.

Our sessions allow you to direct your own erotic development, access your personal arousal, and then to experience pleasure for pleasure’s sake. It’s truly enlightening. And invigorating.

To book your sexology bodywork session, book a sensual massage and be sure to give your therapist the full details of your situation when booking. To book, text, 07982 491392

Exotic massage for men

Exotic massage for men

Let’s put you in the moment, the moment when you’re experiencing your first exotic massage for men at Sensual massage Romford. So, lie back and relax.

Lingam massage Romford

When soft hands touch you the shock is intense, like two icicles spearing you

You’ve entered the therapy room and it’s dark. Oddly dark. You have a feeling of unease. You’re looking forward to your exotic massage for men because somewhere deep inside the pit of your gut, you know that this is going to be good.

It’s already so different from the places you’ve been before.

The therapist is nice. And speaks English. Is English.

And you’re at ease.

Or you were. Until you removed your underwear and laid down. The place is totally silent. Except for the sensual music playing in the background. You focus on in on the breathing, the sound of a woman enjoying herself set to the erotic chords of tantric music.

You shout out. Tell your therapist you are ready. You’re totally unclothed. Unsheathed. Open to the world.

When the door opens the sound seems to echo around the intimate space. You don’t look up. You’ve been told not to and your instincts tell you much as you’re desperate to that this will spoil the tension which is already building. And you don’t want to break the spell.

So instead, you wait as you listen to bare feet padding around the room, trying to work out if that’s all that is naked. Other than you.

Your eyes are closed and the rest of your senses are on red alert. So when soft hands touch your back in two places the shock is intense, like two icicles spearing you, whipping away your breath and leaving your heart pumping at double speed.

Your head rushes as you’re instructed to breathe. Part of this exotic massage for men is based on tantra. You’ve heard about it before, thought it was a cheap quicky wrapped up as something delicious. You never even dreamed that so little could be so exquisite.

To book your exotic massage for men, text us today on 07982 491392.

What’s so special about special service massage?

What’s so special about special service massage?

lingam massage climax
Everything you will ever need to know to learn the pleasures of your own body.

Special service massage. Is it sex?

Imagine lying face down. The soft hands of your sensual massage therapist glide over your skin with a sensuous touch which alights every single one of your nerve endings. Your tired body which only a few moments earlier had been lethargic from the strains of the day is instantly invigorated. A heat from the blood which had been lying dormant floods down from your core trickling to every extremity.And then all the stresses and strains of work and of family, evaporate as you allow yourself to float into the blissful innocence of a simple touch.

Skin on skin.

Nerves connecting.

Energy alighting.

With only a hint of temptation. The pressure builds. Your breathing deepens as your sensual massage therapist leans over you. You keep your head buried in the massage table, the head cradle hiding how you bite your lip as you sense rather than feel an immaculate touch. The divine intensity of the moment continues to build now obliterating all tasks on your to do list, all ideas of anything real outside of this special moment.

sensual massage romford essex
Skin on skin. Nerves connecting. Energy alighting.

The special services of your massage therapist are simple, and yet so incredibly effective. Who knew that massage therapy would be quite so liberating.You spread your legs a little wider, a silent beckoning of where you’re aching for the soft touch of hands to slip to next. Your breath catches as you wait, holding your breath to see whether your aching will be satiated by the special massage you’re losing yourself to.

Those extra special hands falter, you’re sure there’s a pause. And then, they’re gone. The smooth, agile stokes speeding up as they head away from the area.You shift your position, the pressure now all consuming. The hands. Those hands. They’re there again, specialist massage techniques, tempting and teasing you with possibilities. You release the breath you’ve been holding, allow it to float free from your throat and once again surrender to the subtle power of the liberation of an expert massage delivered by someone so totally in control.

You give up fighting, begging isn’t attractive and you allow yourself instead to be at the mercy of your erotic massage therapist. You fall, fast, allowing all tension to release from your body, from your mind and this is only when you truly understand what beauty there is in the art of sensual touch.

This relaxing experience is a mind blowing wellness technique where stress drains from your system and in so doing allows your brain to work in a manner which is totally inexperienced in many of our stressful lives. Therapeutic touch doesn’t have to be about breaking down tight muscles, it can be done from the inside out.

When you leave, you hold yourself differently. Your vision is still blurry as you leave the darkened room and squint to adjust to the real world again. ‘Was that really only an hour or two?’ you ask yourself as you brush a hand through your wayward hair. You feel like a different person.

You feel like a different person.

And this is surely what special service massage is about. It’s about taking what you came in with and throwing it out, only keeping the good that you’ve buried for fear of losing control in life. But, what’s interesting is that when you surrender to a trained stranger’s touch, your inner self is unlocked and you release the pain and tension of the daily grind.

To book special service massage text 07982 491392 today. For more information on sensual massage services in Romford, Essex, check out this page. To go back to our original question, is special service massage sex? No. It’s better.